So everyone's been all "Where are you?" on me lately. It's not cool to disappear during Pride Weekend. Everyone assumes you're grinding your teeth, in a loop from Rauhofer to Vasquez, sunglasses on, and introducing yourself to everyone as 'Crystal Hayes'. But no, the Offender did something truly original for Pride Weekend. It involved drugs and the anus, but not in the traditional Pride Weekend kind of way. The Offender caught himself a viral infection of the intestines.
How hot is that? 102F to be exact. How long is that? 3 days. Did it make you shoot? No, but I shat, and often.
So instead of reporting back all of the things the Offender did for Pride Weekend, I can only report back the things I did not do:
- I did not make repeated "Billy Graham? Oh, I thought you meant Billie Gram, my trannie drug dealer." jokes.
- I did not attend the parties I was invited to at the Archive Building and thus did not wish a Happy Pride upon one newly famous resident or her boyfriend.
- I yelled not one "You go girl!". But, boy, did I go.
