Manhattan Offender

Remainders of the cab

Weekend ketchup: relatable experiences edition

This week features no news or "must-know" information.  Instead it's an assortment of "oh yeah, been there" entries.

• The incompetent coworker that just happens to be your boss.
• The girl (with the guy at which you're staring) who thinks you're staring at her.
• You realize you have gotten high, from caffeine.
• Buzzer rings.  Out of time.  Go for the lowest common denominator.  Booty.

Friday Funnies

Happy Birthday to Star Jones

Thinking of Star Jones never really evokes the images that Star probably wants.  While she wants us to hear "successful" "lawyer" "glamor" and "STAR", we just hear "delusional" "hack" "surgery" and "FLOTILLA".

But no hating here.  She's just another black female addicted to retail.  So happy birthday Star!  Best wishes for lots of coverage of whatever you and Al do tonight.  Maybe he'll slip you the tongue.  On camera.

(Image from the 2005 Fire Island Invasion with Flotilla as Star.)

The Manhattan Offender Interview: Alan, the icon

Number twenty-one in a series.
Interview and a couple more shots after the jump.

Would Elliot Spitzer serve you cold fries?

Elliot Spitzer stated yesterday that he endorses gay marriage which wins him my endorsement immediately.  Yes, my vote is that easily courted.  The assumption is that if you are rational enough to understand that gay marriage will not cause hurricanes and other natural disasters (although it seems opposition thereof does), then you are probably rational enough to run the state.

The mitigating factor is that Spitzer, in his role as Attorney General is currently defending the current law of the state which bans gay marriage.  The appropriate worry is toward his commitment to the issue, but Spitzer notes that he is just doing his job.

In my first job, my outfit was a navy blue polyester jacket with matching pants, festooned with a golden arch over the heart.  Yes, at McDonalds you could have commanded me to make your Big Mac without onions or with extra pickles.  One slow day, we were surprised by a sudden influx of customers.  There were no burgers ready and the fries had been in the bin for over one-half hour.  Told by the manager to serve the un-fresh fries to the waiting crowd.  Sure, it was crap food, but the client was paying for fresh crap food.  My refusal to serve the "cold" fries did not cost me the job, but at the same time it did not cost my integrity either. 

So, Mr. Spitzer, we're still with you, but we really wary of "cold" fries.  We've been eating them for years.

Are you tuft enough?

It's that time of year that usually sees the purchase of a new razor, shaving cream, astringent, and a soothing moisturizer.  Having let the hair on the body and face grow unabated since October of last year, typically, it would be time to shear this coat down to a manageable level.

But this year maybe it will be a hairy summer, something never actually attempted before.  The dermatologist insists that every exposure to the sun is really not a good idea for pale semi-nordic like myself. 

To carry off a pale, hairy summer look, what is needed is big muscles, but is that too bear?  Or is bear the new black?  It's all so confusing.

UPDATED:  Ken just informed me that the Times wrote about the lumberjack aesthetic today.  Which means that it's over?  More confusing than ever.

Be patient

Your skin doesn't feel it.  The cold breeze defies the reality.  But spring is really just around the corner.  You can see it in the trees, just beginning to blossom.

After the jump, evidence collected around Madison Square Park that there is only one direction to go - to spring.

America's Next Top Brigitte

Shocker ending on America's Next Top Model.  Kari was sort of one of my favorites.

I was just waiting for
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Breakfast burrito

• "Kill a gay for Allah".
• Rabbi pins bird flu on gay marriage.
• Too many links available on anti-gay Christians.
• "The Real Housewives of Orange County" debuts. 
• Bush not worried about apocalypse.