Manhattan Offender

Note to self

Just because you're single now does not mean that this can become one of those "gay man as Carrie Bradshaw" type sites.  The world does not need any more of those.  And you're more the Samantha type anyway.

Save the date

Tuesday, June 20th

I'll be announcing details next Wednesday.  (I'm totally geeked.)

The Manhattan Offender Interview: Ariel, the cherry of the grove

Number twenty-four in a series.

Interview after the jump.

Will and Grace finale, finally

Once upon a time the goal of Will and Grace was to have viewers laugh until they cried.  Over time the goal has  seemed to switch to try to make them cry until they left.

We were all on the W&G train from the first episode.  The show seemed fresh and bright.  We could ignore the caricature-laden characterizations.  The first two seasons were must-see t.v. and as Friends began languish Will and Grace began to soar.

Then came the awards and with them, that wretched enemy of any comedy series:  the search for relevancy.  The actors, a gifted ensemble each needed their "star turn" episode which could be submitted to the Academy.  Karen with a cancer scare and Jack with a teenage son.  Will's parents divorce while Grace grows to understand her own mother.  The cheery Charley Brownish piano music is re-scored to let viewers know that they are watching emotional moments.

As ratings began to take a beating the guest stars were dragged out to varying success.  Madonna and Cher in quick appearances or Taye Diggs and Harry Connick, Jr. in longer appearances made their mark.  Small additions were made to the cast such as Vince, the (Everybody Loves Raymond-esque) boyfriend of Will who should have been named Oliver - Cousin Oliver.

With the final episode coming here's a laundry list of what we can expect so that every guest star can appear and every actor can get their academy-tape soliloquy:

• Grace has her baby in a cab driven by Elton John.  (Guest Star!)
• But the baby has Asian features and Grace recalls a repressed memory of being gang-raped in Chinatown.  (Poignant!)
• Vince is gunned down by Esai Morales.  (Guest Star!)
• Will gives a touching eulogy in which he reveals that he has testicular cancer.  (Drama!)
• Jack meets the love of his life, Robbie Williams.  (Guest Star!)
• But Robbie is a crystal-meth addict and draws Jack into his drug-addiction.  (Moving!)
• Karen reunites with her husband Stan, as played by Wilford Brimley.  (Guest Star!)
• As Brimley lies dying, Karen pledges her undying love and promises to quit drinking and popping pills and to devote her life to charitable causes.  (Heart-string pulling!)
• Karen and Jack end up in a rehab center located in the same hospital where Will is being treated for his cancer and, amazingly, where Grace has brought in her baby for a check-up.  Hilarity ensues as the whole gang races down hospital corridors in a wheel-chair race with NASCAR star, Dale Earnhardt!  (Fade to black with cheerful piano music at full crescendo!!!!)

Beware the popper monster

You've seen him.  Middle to late forties and standing around six feet, two inches he shuffles between CroBar and Roxy mostly.  His wadrobe is simple:  black shoes, black jeans, a belt with an oversized buckle, no shirt, one of those black leather bicep bracelet thingies, and one very big bottle of poppers.  He is the Popper Monster.

Popper Monster has a game plan.  From coat-check he heads past the bar and straight to the dance floor where he takes in a huge huff of the amyl nitrate.  Several huffs later and he is starting to 'feel it'.  Getting his groove on.  Grabbing that oversize belt buckle with both hands.  Swaying to the music.  Well, swaying.

Now the Popper Monster is not just some old washed-out huffster.  Popper Monster is goal oriented.  That goal, unfortunately involves dancing up against your shirtless back.  At first you might think, "Wow, who is this big guy?  I'm going to peek over my shoulder."  But then you do.  And guess who?  Popper Monster!

A buddy system is important on the dance floor so that when an unwanted admirer appears you can be warned by your buddies.  Having spent the hours between 1:30 and 5:30 a.m. on Saturday night listening to a really decent set by Manny Lehman at the Roxy (to which I was dragged and at which I had a rather good time), there were those moments where you could totally let go and enjoy. 
At one particular moment of an Indio-Brazilian track there was a feeling of full frenzy coursing through every nerve ending to be abruptly halted by seeing my friend Jose's look of fear and mouthing the words:  "Popper Monster".

When you're dancing and amyl is the air,
look around you and beware.
Buddies can protect you when The Popper Monster attacks.
(On weekdays you can find him at Goldman Sachs!)

Popping pills should be pretty

With every annual visit to the doctor there comes a recommendation of "you should start taking (insert name of supplement here) once a day.  Currently my array of GNC Mega-Man B++, Fish Oil, generic aspirin, and ginseng provides the choice of either displaying several huge plastic bottles of vitamins or tuck those bottles away and, without a doubt, forget to take the meds.

Thinking back to old apothecary shops the idea of featuring the pills and tossing the bottles seemed like a solution.  Decorative pills.  Hot.  The only problem now is that the pills are lackluster in color.  Maybe my doctor could prescribe some pretty blue xanax to improve the color scheme?

Get done by a diva

So you're sitting on the Christopher Street pier, surrounded by shirtless men and reading the Jackie Curtis biography, Superstar in a Housedress.  As you're reading of the groundbreaking drag genius you look up and towering above you are two drag superstars in matching outfits.  They reach down to you and hand you a little packet, say "Be safe, handsome," and walk along to the next guy.  You've been done by a DIVA.

The Drag Initiative to Vanquish AIDS (DIVAs) works pride events, individual bar and club nights, and numerous other venues on both coasts handing out free condoms and providing information to any and all takers.

With AIDSWalk coming this weekend, this is a just a reminder to support these initiatives.  Until there is a cure there is only knowledge. 

To learn more and support these pier queens go here!

One of these is my mom

Can you guess which is the MO-mom and which one is East Village legend Miss Understood? 
(Happy Mother's Day, Mom!)

Nice weekend, an interlude

For a weekend mostly filled with clouds and chills, the five hours of near perfect weather provided were certainly appreciated.  What follows is a brief reminder to myself of why I live here.

It's so nice to meet you.

Hubris tinged with optimism.  Perhaps this is the only explanation for the expression:  "It's nice to meet you."  Having met thousands of people, available evidence suggests that, perhaps, it may actually not always be nice to meet someone.  To state otherwise is to imply that one has foreknowledge of events to transpire, but is, perhaps, not as bad as those how claim to be able to command the actions of a higher being with their conceit of issuing a "God bless you".