Manhattan Offender

Phone-cam quickies: Happy Friday!

From the corner of 26th Street and Park Avenue South.

But what I really want is world peace

This is not a very flattering picture and the gorgeous baby is being  held all wrong.  But the picture cheers me. 

The baby in question is the product of Muslim and Hebrew lineage.  Which means people can improve the world.  Through sexual relations.

So as you go out into the weekend, try to promote a little world peace as you try to get a piece.

What if Chuck had hair?

Chuck, the bartender that takes a little too much joy in serving me a whiskey with a splash of diet, has a new webisode of his online comic, From the Cellar.  This time out he is joined by artist Phil Jimenez who has pencilled books such as X-Men and Wonder Woman and colorist Drew Moore, who was my next door neighbor in college oh so many years ago.

The subject matter concerns Chuck's obsession with hair.  Being a beautiful baldie, Chuck considers what life would be like as coiffed.   

Anatomy of a birthday party, part II: shopping list hangman

1. _ O D _ A
2. R O _ _  I _ _   _ A _ E R S
3. R U _
4. _ O _ D O _ S
5. _ O _ D I _ _   _ _ A I R S
6. _ _ O _
7. _ I _ E R S
8. S _ I _ _ E R   R E _ I _ _ S
9. _ A _ E R   _ _ A T E S
10. I _ E
11. _ _ A S T I _   _ U _ S
12. A S _ I R I N

Googlart, deux

Random obsession

At the age of 13 (12 actually) I could have fathered a child.  That child in turn could have had a child at the same age, which in turn could have also had a child at 13.  So, using obsessive compulsive mathematical magic, in some bizarro universe, I could be a great-grandfather.  These are the thoughts that wake me up in the morning.

Phone-cam quickies: What the ... ?

"This is not a flashback.  This is not flashback.  This is not a flashback." 

This is what needed to be internally repeated while walking along Madison Square Park.  Various brush scattered along the street, film production assistants with traffic flags and a spattering of Con Ed trucks were confusing enough of a sight.  But the taxidermed deer on wheels was the clincher.  Although I have no clue what is going on, there were other people that were seeing the same thing, so my sanity seems to be intact.  For now.

Anatomy of a birthday party, part I: the invite

Miss Manners would agree that the key to a successful invitation is that it adequately convey the spirit of the event.  With a birthday on a Monday, the key inspiration for still getting friends together is less to celebrate 'me' than to let them know that they are a special part of my life.

The guest list includes old friends and new, all of whom are sort of awesome to me.  The theme for year 39 is to overcome anxieties and to "put it all out there" both literally and figuratively.  Although the apartment isn't "done", a shot will be taken.  Hopefully it will an exercise in exorcism of my manic demons. 

Oh, and fun.  Hopefully it will be a blast.  Duh.

Where is fun?

At 6:40 on a Friday evening after an arduous week of work, all that is on the mind is an end to labor and a beginning of the weekend.  Assuming that my friends (all of whom, in my mind at least, work fewer hours and make more money than me) are already out enjoying drinks at an amazing happy hour somewhere, a broadcast text message is sent out to eight buddies. 

Conserving finger energy, what I think is a clever message is composed: 

"Where is fun?"

Eight messages sent and seven replies received, none of which understanding my original intent.

• 6:41 p.m.:  from EB:  "In my pants."
• 6:41 p.m.:  from DP:  "It closed."
• 6:41 p.m.:  from RD:  "FOLSOM."
• 6:44 p.m.:  from CH:  "Huh papi?  In my pants or do u mean the bar?"
• 7:18 p.m.:  from CS:  "Hey dude.  fun is on n 4th between bedford and driggs.  you going by tonight?"
• 7:42 p.m.:  from DH:  "the place or the concept?"
• 8:07 p.m.:  from CO:  "Its on the northside off of bedford ... I think its 4th street"

Lessons learned:

• Text messages should be specific.
• Sending out "mass" text messages is a bad habit from which I should break myself.
• Most people are more literal than figurative.
• If there is fun to be had, it is either in Williamsburg or in the pants of my friends.

Be more like Elmo

With the weekend (and happy hour) just a few hours away, my goal is to be like Elmo this weekend.  The ability to stand back up can become problematic though.