A handy guide to telling Yom Kippur and my birthday apart

This year Yom Kippur falls on my birthday.  To avoid confusion of the two please follow the easy list of contrasts and comparisons below:

1. Yom Kippur is the Jewish day of repentance.  My birthday provides several opportunities for activities for which a guilt-ridden person would want to to repent.
2. Yom Kippur is the most solemn religious day of the year.  My birthday is the holiest yet least solemn day of my year.
3. Atonement is a central theme of Yom Kippur.  It is very important to go to the gym and be toned for my birthday as many pictures will be taken.
4. There is no eating for 25 hours during Yom Kippur.  Between lunch Saturday and dinner Sunday there was no eating for my birthday.
5. There is no drinking during YK.  Drinking for bday started with Jameson and then proceded to Jack, Modelo, and eventually huge quantities of Gatorade.
6. There is no washing during Yom Kippur.  My birthday shower was quite refreshing.
7. Don't wear cosmetics on YK.  Undereye moisturizer is a must on bday.
8. On YK there are no leather shoes for the Jews.   On bday new shoes are on the list of to-dos.
9. Conjugal relations are prohibited on YK.  It's just not a bday without a little sumtin sumtin.
10. All feuds and disputes are to cleared up on Yom Kippur.  You can't fight with me on my birthday just because, well, it's my birthday.