Manhattan Offender

Gonorrhea Awareness Week: Gonorrhea, here we go again ...

In a continuing effort to draw your attention to the new antibiotic resistant gonorrhea discovered last week, a musical tribute, to an ABBA tune (if for some reason you cannot place which one or can't place the lyrics, the original video is after the jump):

I've been sleeping around since I don't know when
Something I have caught, it must come to an end
Look at my cock, will I ever learn?
I don't know how, but I suddenly lose control
There's a fire in my pee-hole
Just one look and I see the swelling
One more look and it hurts while peeing, o-o-o-oh

Gonorrhea, here we go again.
My my, meds cannot affect you.
Gonorrhea, does it show again?
My my, caught it but just from who?

Yes, I've been sleepin' around
Blue balls hurt so profound
Why, why didn't I to the doctor go?
Gonorrhea, now I really know,
My my, you will never let me go.

I'm not ashamed about the things that I do
I can't count all the bedroom doors I've been through
And when I'm out, I swear I'm not a whore
I think I know that I cannot resist a schlong
You know that I'm not that strong.
Just one look and I see the swelling
One more look and it hurts while peeing, o-o-o-oh

Gonorrhea, here I go again.
My my, meds cannot affect you.
Gonorrhea, does it show again?
My my, caught it but just from who?

Yes, I've playing safely.
Oral sex with a condom's silly.
Why, why did I ever let it go?

Gonorrhea, even if I say
Bye bye, leave me now or never
Gonorrhea, it's just roulette we play
Bye bye doesn't mean forever

Gonorrhea, here I go again.
My my, meds cannot affect you.
Gonorrhea, does it show again?
My my, caught it but just from who?
Yes, I've been sleepin' around
Blue balls hurt so profound
Why, why didn't I to the doctor go?
Gonorrhea, now I really know,
My my, you will never let me go.

Rueing the day

RueUploaded by rodmo

Tonight on Union Square, Rue McLanahan read from her new book about her past husbands and other romances. The former Blanche Devereaux charmed a full-house with two stories from the book, including her experience posing nude for a bohemian art class.  The audience, a mix of gay, seniors, gay, actresses and gays provided a warm welcome and ample laughter and applause.

Here's a few peeks if you own that personal level of gay. 

(And yeah, the audio is pretty awful unless you have everything else in your background quieted.)

Gonorrhea Awareness Week: Gonorrhe-ha-ha

 

If a friend or (briefly) loved one has contracted gonorrhea, after you've explained that you're not the one from which they contracted the disease, a gift is a great idea.  Or if you're the recently infected, why not treat yourself to something special.

• A cuddly gonorrhea plushie is a great to cuddle with through the night, giving the infected something to cuddle with that isn't cross-infecting them with a different strain of the disease.
• Get your very own humorous (not to be confused with funny) gonorrhea cocktail napkins!
• When left untreated, gonorrhea can lead to gonococcal arthritis which can be rather debilitating.  Make life easier for your infected friend with the appropriately named Clapper!
• To help the infected keep their infection in-house, condoms are the rule.  So why not design a custom condom with the word, phrase, or picture of your choice.  (Some of their recent clients include HBO's Entourage and Jon Bon Jovi.)

What would you pay to be the honored advertiser?

    

Unusual it is not that yet another building in the Meatpacking District is being overhauled to become, golly, maybe a J.C. Penney's or a Spencer's Gifts?  The loss of Western Beef doesn't really affect me in any way and the continued path of retail mallification to the area is unsurprising.  What is curious about the marketing for this particular property is the signifigance that the gigantic billboard plays in the advertising strategy of the building as displayed on the scaffolding banner.  What a catch!  What a find!  A true landmark.  The famous sky-obscuring billboard of Fourteenth and Ninth! 

Happy Gonorrhea Awareness Week!

Introduced just last week is a new form of gonorrhea, resistant to most antibiotics, there is good reason to learn more about our friend, neisseria gonorrhoeae. 

As generations of humans continue to live and die, they are no longer evolving.  Instead we choose to let scientists handle such problems for us.  Scientists, in turn, have realized that curing disease is much less profitable than managing disease, thus recreating the human race as these long-living, disease-spreading breeding grounds for a multitude of creatures, among them bacteria.  Bacteria, with shorter life-spans and no scientists to "manage" their problems, have done that which humans have forgotten to do - evolve.

Already there are more gonorrhea bacteria on Earth than humans, and with their latest evolution their numerical dominance will continue to grow.  So by learning more about gonorrhea, we are really just learning more about our future bacterial overlords. 

As everything in the world seems to have its own week (Happy Bright Garantisadong Pambata Week, by the way), it is time that something so popular and common have it's time in the spotlight as well.  So, as no one else has done so, let me be the first to proclaim:

HAPPY GONORRHEA AWARENESS WEEK!

For the rest of the week, expect to learn much more.  Promised are gonorrhea anecdotes, knowledge, gift ideas, songs and so much more!  Lucky reader!

(Just for the record, I'm not serving as a host to "Big G", so don't even start!)

"How embarrassing to be human." - Kurt Vonnegut

So I set about looking for a collection of his quotes, and then tried to pare them down to a nice grouping of favorites.   The sheer quantity of his gems is overwhelming though, and selecting one over another is just so above me. Don't accuse me of necrophilia for kissing the rigor mortised ass of a dead man, but Kurt Vonnegut was kind of awesome.

When you have a few traits in common with someone, and that someone is held in your regard, the weak thing to do is sort of hope that maybe those similarities might translate to a little bit of awesomeness of your own.  Being a weak person, I can say that we were both from Indiana and that I'm a humanist (although not organized or committed enough to be a Humanist).  Going further would just be an adventure in absurdism.

There's more I'm not putting here.  The date of his death coincides with a personal date of my own, which will remain personal, until that day of course that I cull it to the right effect, garnering readers pathos, and empty, yet heartfelt, empathy.  So why even bring it up?  It's a ball-heavy thrustyfuck of foreshadowing.  Subtlety will never find me on its mailing list.  I'm hoping that upon my own death, one of my own quotes will be notable.  Namely, "Stop me before I make this about myself."  So I will.

If you find yourself mentioning Vonnegut's death (as six people mentioned it to an already-knowing me today I don't find this impossible) and your co-conversant isn't familiar with his work, do them the favor of buying them Cat's Cradle, or whatever.  Vonnegut was important and a voice against the current vapid cultural tide.

As for this trite tribute, I'll not return to my original intention of collecting quotes; wikiquote already has it covered.  I'll just leave you with one great Kurt Vonnegut quote:

        "When you're dead, you're dead."

Past, Over: Madonna on Ludlow

This week on that Gawker thing, a look back to life on Ludlow Street in the gay 90's.  All at the convergence point of Madonna, bodegas, and Dominican boys.  For this piece a quick trip with the camera was needed to see if my memory was true, that Madonna's proposed new Kaballah center was on the site of the bodega where my Tropical Fantasy's were found.  Turns out that it was not, and that the former bodega is now an organic food shop.  Meanwhile, Max Fish, Pink Pony and Las Venus are safe and sound where they were almost a decade past. 
Enjoy.  Or hate, or, be indignant.  All good.

Happy Pride?

  A new MSNBC banner ad popping up around the world wile web is confusing.  It is April; not June.  Or could it be that the gays do not have a trademark on the rainbow?  (Granted some would prefer a purple triangle or somesuch anyway.)  There are a few other rainbow claimers out there, but they, too, are pretty gay. The best part of MSNBC's new rainbow foray is that the network has launched a new marketing campaign at the same time that they are racked by the Imus scandal, thus eliminating any measure of the efficacy of a new advertising campaign.

MOTV: Euthanastacia

It's like a mind puzzle this show.  Just when you think something is happening, it isn't.  And things you don't know about or are maybe you just aren't smart enough to understand?  Those. Things. Are. Happening.  Pussy Cat Dolls Present:  The Search for the Next Doll Buttaface Dogs Present:  The Search for the Next Dog is like a master class in televisiography.

First off the girls remember Mariconha one last time and talk about how the house is different without her.  Then Anastacia starts binging on vegetables and Chelsea accuses her of starving herself, even though she's sitting there with three plates of veggies in front of her.  Anastacia says the girls are angry because they are midgets. 

Suddenly, they do that routine they always do before the first commercial where they watch a video where each of the Pussycat Dogs says a word repeatedly and then one of the Buttaface Dolls magically appears and says that word in person.  This week the word is "style".  Anastacia freaks out because she likes to wear old tee shirts, something she'll never be able to do again if she wins. 

Luckily for her the show is not about style.  Or Mariconha, or binginging, or vegetables, or style or anything else they spent the past fifteen minutes talking about.  It's about how damn tall she is.

Larry Birkhead inspires a change in career outlooks as expressed by haiku

Instead of working
Impregnate an Anna type.
Mackenzie Phillips?