Disclaimer: I am no more qualified to give advice than Doctor Phil is to give weight-loss tips, Kimora Lee is to doling out fashion direction, or anyone at Cosmo is to providing tips to pleasing a man. They do it though, thus can I. Granted, they have lawyers and shit-piles of money. I don't. So remember, that anything you read here might be horribly, horribly wrong. Or it may be horribly, horribly right. My guess is as good as yours, just better.
Dear Add Vice -
This is a query that I often ask myself (and remember it's a strai8 gurl asking the question): "When internet dating, how many email exchanges before you actually set up a meeting?"
-Waiting for Dating
This is too easy, WfD. Once you've seen pictures of his cock, set a date and time.
Oh, wait. You're a straight girl.
You have needs. And expectations. You have to figure those out first.
Maybe an exercise would be helpful:
- Take a moment to think about what you are expecting from someone that you meet on the Internet.
- Take an equal amount of time considering what your needs are in not just a date, but a relationship.
- Once all of these are clear in your mind, take out a piece of paper, divide it in half, and draw a line down the division creating two columns.
- List your needs in one column and your expectations, both positive and negative, in the other.
- Draw lines from each need as they pertain to your expectations.
- Tally each expectation for every line that points to it and then rank your expectations.
- Make a mental note of your top three expectations.
- Now refer back to the email correspondence that you've had with your Internet friend and see if you are, to date, meeting your top expectations.
- If you aren't meeting those expectations, then your needs are not being fulfilled and it's time to take things to the next level.
- If your needs are being met, then you've probably been corresponding for quite a while. And it's time to take it to the next level.
- Throw away the piece of paper.
By this point, you may have realized that the entire exercise above is bogus, but, as a "strai8 gurl" (which, if you sound it comes out to to being a "stray eight" gurl so maybe just str8 is more accurate) you probably of the type that likes to take quizzes, score them, and learn things about yourself that you already know. (A quick perusal of Cosmo and Glamour confirms this.) What you're really doing is organizing your thoughts and reminding yourself of something you already know.
In this case, what you already know is that you are ready for this guy to ask you out. He hasn't though. Because he's shy or sweet or maybe a little insecure. So slip on the strap-on for just a moment while you sit at your computer and ask him out. If you're ready and if he is too, neither of you will regret taking the time to see what's really up. If you're ready and he's not, then there's probably a big difference to the way you approach social situations and, in the long run, you may very well not be compatible. By putting the question out there, you're finding this out now. Regardless, it's a win/win situation. Long story short? If you're thinking about asking someone out over the Internet, just do it.
