Logging into Manhunt has always been a superstitious thing for me. The various models presented on the homepage have always brought varying degrees of luck. I've often refreshed the page just to not log on with the "Clean-cut white twink in mesh shirt and jockstrap" or the "Needy looking Asian shirtless with belted-jeans". For whatever reason, "Hottie black guy in heather-gray sweatpants" always results in the right type of attention.
Recently, five new models have been added to the log-in page, serving up some new variety, but as of yet, my superstitions have not yet attached themselves to the new crew.
Single white male seeks HTML expert, so expect spacing issues below as a look is taken at the latest models.
The first of the new group I like to call "John". At first I thought he had a backpack, but it's just his shirt. A backpack would be better. "I put all my clothes in my backpack because I have trust issues. You see, people often steal my clothes, and I refuse to be a victim again." The random tattoos do nothing for me, nor the hairless chest. My impression is of a go-go boy in Wichita, working hard to pay tuition to Grinnell as the wrestling scholarship isn't full-ride. His appearance on my screen says, "Log in to receive pictures of bodies without faces, wondering if you're partying."
Next up, "Dimitry". Showing off his recently waxed happy-trail area. Upon seeing him on the screen, the impression is alway, "Oh, there's what's his name that I hooked up with last fall." But that's not him. He has a fresh-off-the-boat-from-Belgrade thing that is sort of appealing. I want him to tell me stories from the old country. About his crazy fag-hag friend Olga and the time she stole the donkey from old man Gregor. This one brings "chat with no action and very unlikely to meet".
"Sminky". When you see Sminky in a bar, turn the other way. There's something in those eyes that just screams at me, "Hide your wallet!" Whenever Sminky is around, there's always a story about his dealer not coming through or the ATM being broken. But he's so affectionate as he's checking the labels on your clothes and admiring your watch. Superstition meets paranoia here. Even the cheap everyday china and silverware should be locked away as Sminky brings trouble.
"Bridgeport". Rugged city by the sea, filled with odors of sea and industry, Bridgeport is a city of sweat, vigor and olden times. It's highly immigrant population shows the wear and tear of its rough life, yet maintains a dignity and self-respect. You could fall in love in Bridgeport, but then you'll be there for the rest of your life. So, yeah, this guy catches my fancy (despite thinking he might be on the short side), but logging on with his picture brings fears of commitment and contentment. I'm just not ready for that (today).
"Marco Polo". Set sail for adventure, embark on a new, if brief, romance. This cross-ethnic hottie is just dreamy with an athleticism that comes from actual activity, not a sterile gym. Your place? My place? Neither! Meet up in a dive bar in Long Island City! Take a bike ride on the water in Brooklyn! Play ultimate Frisbee in Central Park. A look in his eyes, brings hope to me, so I log in with the most enthusiasm with his greeting. Only to find that a fifty-year old in Fort Worth has sent me an e-mail, to let me know he'll be in the city on business and would I like to play. Oh Marco, you keep me going despite the constant disappointments. You keep me going.
BONUS1: Check out Hunters and Gatherers for a scathing, laugh-out-loud assessment of ManHunt profiles.
BONUS2: Yes, I do have a profile. No, I don't have cock shots. No, I don't do hook-ups online. "Versaphile"
