Open letter to anyone else awake on Fire Island

1.  By any chance are you home and awake and in possession of light brown sugar?  Dark brown will do in a pinch.
2.  By any chance does the pantry in the Grove open any earlier than that in the Pines, as I'll totally walk it.
3.  How does this well-equipped kitchen have three types of garlic presses and not one mixer?
4.  How does this well-provisioned pantry have two types of anchovies and no brown sugar?
5.  Am I the only homo that bakes in the world?
6.  Am I the only one that wakes up before the sunrise and jaunts to the roof to catch it?