So it's just me on the couch and Rachel Maddow on the television screen, being my lesbian straight-talk galpal while I read The Paris Review and think about the cookies to be baked Wednesday night because of Thanksgiving when suddenly this gigantic ...

baked turkey is on the screen and it's laughing and smiling, but it isn't a baked turkey at all; it's Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell, and sweet baby jesus does this man have a (just-got-back-from-the-freaking-Carribean-and-not-one-of-those-aspirational-islands-but-the-ones-where-the-wealthy-do-the-limbo-under-an-emaciated-native) glowing tan while the rest of us are like, trying to figure out how to feed our layed off and otherwise miscellaneous friends just before Thanksgiving.