Manhattan Offender

Happy New Year ...

Hey, Beyonce, I just can't get Single Ladies out of my head and, well, I can't get Christmas carols out of my head either, so I was thinking it would be more efficient if we combined the two and thus was born, "All of Santa's Ladies". YouTube this shiz!

All of Santa's ladies (All of Santa's ladies)
All of Santa's ladies (All of Santa's ladies)
All of Santa's ladies (All of Santa's ladies)
All of Santa's ladies 
Now put your hands up

Up at the Pole, Christmas snuck up
I was doing my own little thing.
Elves decided to dip but now they wanna trip
Those little brothers need to get working
I’m up Santa, he up on me
don't pay him any attention
Cuz I made teddy bears, for three good years
Ya can’t be mad at me

[Chorus:]
Cuz if you liked it then you
should have put a jingle ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a jingle ring on it
Don’t be sad that they ain’t jinglin’ with it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

Ho ho ho, huh huh ho ho, huh ho ho, huh huh ho ho,
Ho ho ho, huh huh ho ho, huh ho ho, huh huh ho ho.

Cuz if you liked it then you
should have put a jingle ring on it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a jingle ring on it
Don’t be sad that they ain’t jinglin’ with it
If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it

Christmas Memory Project VI

"It was fucking humiliating is what it was.  You fucking opened it and looked at this beautiful fucking coat and you just didn't give a fuck.  In front of our fucking friends."
"I ... this is why you're crying?  I, well, I mean ... I looked at it and, you know ... I already have a blue coat.  I guess I don't understand the practicality of another one."
"It's fucking beautiful.  It's fucking Paul Smith you asshole."

When Hanukkah gelt meets coinslot, surely the endtimes are near

So, like, when I'm 46, I totally will make sure to treat my child-bride/sperm-vessel to such a very special week of her own on her thirtieth birthday, provided that she is still producing eggs, because she is so out the door by forty. Thanks, Tom Cruise

Tom & Katie Celebrate Her 30th Birthday All Week: People.com.

Christmas Memory Project V

The six of us mostly sat or layed down on the pillows strew across the floor, enjoying the music and candlelight and Christmas lights as the gifted ketamine and ecstacy sent us on our own merry ways. My boyfriend's best friend from his home town, the one whom I could deal with never seeing ever and especially not on Christmas, turned to me with amazement, "Are we speaking telepathically?"  As he had interrupted my following of a light pattern against a wall, and despite efforts to remain polite or even civil, my disdain was evident as I replied, "No, and I really wish we weren't speaking at all."

Subconjuntioned tone piece II

So I receive this email from someone that has seen my picture on some website or another and approaches me, via email, for NSA sex and, being an open-minded person, I ask him to send pictures of himself, actually "many picture" and he totally did in addition to sort of his whole life story, up to and including his current “openly mutually cheating” relationship, and being polite, I sent back a critique of the pictures, his "poorly lit, very 'self--holding-phonecam' pic” for which the color was off because of the lighting, and, so, he promised (twice and profusely) to get new pictures and send them right away, but regardless, I didn’t have an interest in this person, and really hadn’t expressed one, although there was an interest as to why he seeks the approval of this person whose picture he had seen on a website, but that was explained sort of in his last email asking for one confirmation:  “This is momo, right?”

One day after all of the start-ups become dried-ups and all the domain names have been bought by Berkshire Hathaway and the only websites you see are by corporations, the needy desperate story of the Internet, how we reacted to it and how our interactions were transformed by it, will be written, and it will be the saddest story ever written, except for "Old Yeller".  And maybe the beginning of Bambi.

 

Status

Rod thinks the Blowoff parties might be more accurately named "collection of songs you already own played in an order which you may not have played them before".

Christmas Memory Project IV

Even though it was the present for which I had asked, it seemed to have a different message once it was in my hands.  Instead of saying, "you're independent," the envelope of cash seemed to say, "we don't know you well enough to pick a gift for you any more".

Status

Rod is in a taxi. There is new age music playing. A crystal hangs from the rearview mirror. The driver's name is Gull.