8:15: Previously, on Facebook:
8:23: Yes, ruin a pretty song with Kanye. GRAMMY FUNFACT: Kanye is Mamluk for "music killer".
8:26: Is the dictator sing-along-song. Chris Martis is pretty though, so pass.
8:29: Carrie Underwood could use an underwire. She IS the Beyonce of country music; this is not a compliment or a slam.
8:34: Kirsten Dunst, in preparation for an upcoming role, is portraying a country-western Grammy winner, and unlike most modern iterations by Dunst this one is likeable enough.
8:36: Typepad should have a "liveblog" mode.
8:37: Speaking of marketing assholes, this dreadful attempt to drag people to the CBS website to celebrate their "Grammy moment" could be more convoluted but it would probably take another six-figure marketing exec to put his hand int it as well. And PowerPoint presentations. With star wipes.
8:42: Sybil the cat had a hairball. Who's the blonde with Al Greene?
8:43: Dictator-singalong-song is the song of the year. Chris martin is still pretty. The blond looks like Bryce Edwards.
8:46: What is Kid Rock saying "amen" about? What are the flags? New song. Another one. I know nothing of Kid Rock except the Pam Anderson bits. Also? His real name is Robert Ritchie. Oh, wait, he is rock and roll Spaghetti Monster.
8:54: While I don't know which one is Taylor Swift and which one is Miley Cyrus (because I am an old and a "don't care"), I do know that when you are fifteen and someone tells you they love you that you are going to go tell all your friends and then make fun of that person for at least the rest of the semester. These girls do seem sweet enough to auction off their virginity on eBay.
8:56: "Pop Collaboration for Vocal" is shorthand for who can make the biggest sucking sound from sucking apparently. But, hm, Robert fucking Plant.
8:59: Family Guy is a repeat?! I need an exit strategy!
9:05: That was your moment of live blog silence for Miss Jennifer Hudson. That and Typepad went crazy on me.
9:06: So this CBS thing? Let's see if I can understand it. "Fans" made their own version of Katy Perry's controversial-because-its-lezfaux" song. You're supposed to vote for those videos online. And Perry will be playing live at the Grammy's, but this is unrelated to the contest. And the winner of the contest will be announced on tomorrow morning's Early Show, although Perry won't be on said show. So if you are a fan of fans of this song you should go online and watch the Early Show, since nobody else in the world will be, except for the stupid fucking marketing MBA who dreamed this bullshit up.
9:10: Stevie Wonder is singing into a vocorder while some children dance on the stage. Oh, that Stewie is being a rapscallion! That was not a typo, I'm on Family Guy during this tragedy. I don't care how much Stevie is happy about the Obama presidency, this is a match made in a very low circle of hell.
9:23: If I don't see real girls kissing and liking it, I'm out. This Perry girl can't sing for shit, but this Carmen Miranda as a whore thing works for me.
9:25: She can't sing or dance. What the fuck?
9:27: Kanye West must be giving some awesome cock up to David Geffen or someone, because that is a voice only a crypt-keeper could love. Meanwhile I'm feeling the Tito Jackson hair and jacket and face fat. And Estelle is hot, despite the lack of stage presence.
9:29: I've genuinely had enough and my DVR just decided that American Dad must be on the screen. This retro "blogging like it's 2006" experiment is over. And out.
(For a REAL live-blog of the Grammy's go over and read Maura Johnston's take at Idolator.
