New York magazine uses its "Best of" weapon to try to destroy The Hose.

"Hey, the New York Magazine Best of New York issue is out."
"Is it March already?"
"Yeah, and look, The Hose totally made it."
"Made what?"
"Yes, look!  'Best Gay Bar.' Isn't it great?"
"Uh, no."
"What are you talking about?  You love The Hose!  Didn't you go-go dance for them on the opening night?"
"Yes."
"And aren't you thrilled for Paul Short, one of the sweetest party promoters in town?"
"Yes."
"So what's the ..."
"I totally saw New York's 'gay' reporter at The Hose one night, doing his research.  Granted, I was in 'force of nature' mode by that point, so I don't remember it well, but I could kick myself for not having spilled a drink on him or sent a troll his way to way to ruin his evening."
"Tim Murphy, right?  Why would you want to ruin his evening?"
"Because I'm shy."
"What? You're not ..."
"Fine, I'm exclusive."
"You're losing me."
"I don't like places that 'everyone' goes to.  And it's not some 'cool' thing as I'm decidedly uncool."
"It's a 'cool' thing."
"No, it's just I like to be around people of a like mind.  And I hate crowds."
"It's a 'cool' thing."
"Fuck you."
"Not even with your dick.  So you totally aren't happy for Paul and Kiger and Dustin and Juan and Ashton and Ryan and everybody else involved with The Hose?  And you're never going to go there again?  Right."
"Oh, I'll go.  Well, maybe."
"Maybe?  Weren't you talking about go-going there again sometime soon?"
"Yeah, and I totally will, but they'll ... There's one thing they'll have to do."
"Drink tickets?"
"Oh, that'd be nice."
"But what's this 'one thing'?"
"Um.  Two words:  Restrictive Door."