Manhattan Offender

Tales from the marriage equality frontline - Astoria Marriage Rally II: Birth of the Bridesmaids for Marriage Equality

TIME:  4:30 p.m.
SCENE:  Studio Space Beer Garden

Joanna and Jeime sit, sipping beer, pencils in hand, staring at a blank piece of posterboard.  Rod sits across from them, coloring in a "WE ARE QUEENS!" poster.

Jo:  I want a sign.  But what do I want to say?

Je:  'Marriage is for everybody!'

Jo:  Boring.

Je: ' I want my gay friends to get married, but I don't want to!'

Jo:  Too long.  And TMI.

Je:  'Hot girls for marriage!'  [Je and Jo laugh.  A lot.]

Jo:  It's not about us.  Is that bartender coming to the rally?  He better.  Oh.  I really like him.

Je:  He likes me, not you.  And yes, I told him to be there.

Jo:  You.  Whatever.  Rod, help us.  The mimosas are inhibiting the creativity.

R:  [Looks up from his sign.]  Do something like 'Always a bridesmaid, never a bride' or something.

Je:  A bridesmaid dress for a gay wedding would be hot!

Jo:  Never a gay bridesmaid, never a gay bride?

R:  Does that make sense?

Je:  "Hags for Fag Marriage!"  [Jo falls almost off her bench with laughter.]

Jo:  Girl.  No.  "Gay bridesmaids for marriage!"

Je:  No!  We get enough guys thinking we're lesbian as it is!

R:  Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Jo:  Of course not.  We work it to full effect.  [Jo and Je high-five.]  "Bridesmaids for Marriage Equality!"

 TIME:  6:00 - 7:30 p.m.
SCENE:  Athens Square, Astoria at the Marriage Equality rally

Joanna, Jeime, Leah, Denise, Joyce and Kate are holding up signs.  They are given thumbs up from the stage.  They are asked to pose for pictures.  They are flirted with by men and women.  An organizer for Marriage Equality New York approaches them.

Organizer:  You girls are wonderful!  I love all your signs!

Je:  We did them in bridesmaids dress colors!

Jo:  We're the Bridesmaids for Marriage Equality!  And we're coming to all the future rallies wearing bridesmaid dresses! 

Je:  We are?

Organizer:  I love it!  How can I contact you?

Jo:  You can find us on Facebook.  Like, tomorrow.  After the hangover clears. 

Photo via David Formichella.

Tales from the marriage equality frontline - Astoria Marriage Rally I: Beer, Burger, Bartenders, and Applause

 The fact was clear:  Despite the importance of any issue, it's difficult to get a group of friends to come to a Marriage Equality rally on a pretty almost-summer Sunday afternoon.  The solution?  Beer.

A great cross-section of friends old and new gathered, pre-rally, at Studio Space, the new beer garden in Astoria.  There were my girly-girls from Brooklyn and Harlem.  My buddies from Brooklyn.  My other buddies from the 'hood and Manhattan.  And new friends from Out Astoria. 

We gathered at our tables, drank beer, ate burgers and brats.  More girly-girls arrived post multi-mimosa brunch and almost immediately took pictures with a model-pretty bartender.  More buds came and fretted over just the right beer for the day.  Diligently we filled in our signs with the Crayola markers.

The just-married-last-week-in-Connecticut-because-they-can't-get-married-in-their-home-state-of-New-York lesbian couple arrives and our tables let out a cheer as we present them with our sign for them:  "I Married a Girl, and I Liked It."

Beer continued to flow as time came close for our departure to the rally.  One of the girly-girls has an idea:  Let's get on the stairs and take a quick picture with the signs.

And then something magical happened.

We gathered for the picture and then, quickly, the Beer Garden holding hundreds of people out enjoying a Sunday afternoon erupted in spontaneous applause and cheers from the crowd.  We looked at one another, suddenly electrified and yelling "Thank you, Astoria!"

Meet my neighbors, Jeremiah and Karla, and? Maybe come meet me.

Jeremiah and Karla have been my downstairs neighbors for years. Over time we've held door for each other, and, if feeling particularly outgoing, we've said "hello". Recently we've met through our shared involvement in the Marriage Equality movement. It's strange how the struggle is bringing together people that don't know each other, and bringing closer people that do. Sunday evening will see a large rally in Astoria's Athens Square Park . Beforehand, I've invited a few thousand people to come to Studio Square Beer Garden starting at two to rev up for the rally. Hopefully some of you can come out and we can come together too.

Look, it's a rainbow! In Astoria!

Please don't tell State Senator Onorato. He might try to shoot it down, after denying its existence.

Tales from the marriage equality frontline - "I'd wear a ribbon, but this is Comme des Garçons!"

This thing is like that thing, but in this thing, you'll be taken behind the scenes of gays that are, like, doing something other than luxuriating in the sun and sand.

SCENE:  Under the elevated subway tracks of the N/W train in Astoria.  Trains come to a squealing stop every few minutes and throngs of people exit the train platform and descend the stairs to the street.  They are met by a group of about fifteen pamphleteers. 

RIBBONGAY:  Ugh.  I just wanted to get up in that guy's face.

FASHIONGAY:  Which guy?

RIBBONGAY:  The one that yelled, "Marriage is for man and woman."

FASHIONGAY:  Oh, right? 

RIBBONGAY:  Yeah.  All I wanted to say is, "For two more months, baby."

FASHIONGAY:  The "baby" would be a bit much.

RIBBONGAY:  Fuck "too much".

SUITGAY:  [loudly to a group coming down from the train platform]  State Senator Onorato is against gay marriage equality!

RIBBONGAY:  I told him that was too wordy.

FASHIONGAY:  His voice is great though.

RIBBONGAY:  But just "Support marriage equality" is enough.  You catch their attention and they read the sign and they take a flyer.

FASHIONGAY:  [loudly]  Support marriage equality!

RIBBONGAY:  You have a great voice.  Butch! 

FASHIONGAY:  I have to conserve it though.  Last time I went to the office the next day?  And they were all, "Up late?" because I was raspy.

RIBBONGAY:  Hey, I didn't give you a ribbon. Here ...

FASHIONGAY:  Oh, no, no.  I'd wear a ribbon, but this is Comme des Garçons!

RIBBONGAY:  What?

FASHIONGAY:  Oh, baby homo, you have much to learn.  Adorable!  [loudly]  Your State Senator is on the wrong side of history!

RIBBONGAY:  That was a good one.

FASHIONGAY:  Right? 

to be continued ...

Astoria sucks just a wee bit more

This year will mark my eleventh year in Astoria.  A gay pioneer to the area, it is now galloping with gays.  Unfortunately these are mostly the types of gays with their Broadway headshots up on their ManHunt profiles.  For that and other reasons, the majority of my friends all tend to live elseborough.

The neighborhood has grown more commercial over time.  (Yet there is still no convenient Citibank branch for me.  Sigh.)  Now comes the scariest of sites.  Purveyor of food-like food products, Applebee's.  Can a TGIF be far behind?

(It's perhaps fitting that for some reason, this picture refuses to rotate.  Applebee's isn't worth my effort to correct it.)