Manhattan Offender

Weekend ketchup

• If I were Perez Hilton, I'd pay someone some big money to find the inevitable Jesse Oxfeld ManHunt profile.  (via Gabriel at  Modern Fabulosity, whose preachiness didn't bother me as much as the swipe against blondes)
• Do you work in a cubicle?  Have you ever?  Then you'll relate.
• And regardless of whether you are working in a cubicle, it is a sure bet that whatever job you have, you'd rather be un ayudante.
• In this age of easy digit swapping on the ever-present cell phone, there is no excuse to lose someone at a party, seemingly forever.  As soon as you realize that a person is within your realm of acceptability, record their digits.
• Chuck from The Cock is on a World Whore Tour.
• Feeling cheerful?  Optimistic?  Everything going right in the world?  Able to forget that democracy has pretty much ended in the U.S. (that country to the west of Manhattan).
• "She's a total Cover Girl expert. Maybe one day she'll get to make businesswomen look like whores and spray perfume in people's eyes while working behind the counter at Macy's. It's something to aspire to, at least." MO hearts fourfour.

Cease and de-sissy

Blogger Justin Watt received a cease and desist letter on behalf of "ex-gay" organization, Exodus International after parodying one of their billboards.  Liberty Counsel, which is based at Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, sent the letter stating:

"[the] altered image substantially diminishes the potential value of the original image as utilized by Exodus on billboards across America and online."

Since this is now a legal matter, it is news.  When Ex-Gay Watch reported the matter, posting the same image in their report, they too received a cease and desist notice.  Thus creating more news.  Thus increasing the reach that Justin would have had if the original letter had not been sent.  Whether Exodus International, whose website is registered with the island nation of Tongo, actually planned the legal debacle to increase their reach to a wider gay audience is unknown.

The Manhattan Offender Interview: Michael, the sketchy

Number nineteen in a series.

1. What's your secret to staying so beautiful?
   I stick to a strict diet of red meat, bread, and cheese. I suppose weight-lifting and cardio helps. So does staying away from smoking and drugs (poppers aren't a drug, right? Please, Lord, let poppers not be a drug...). Oh, and every eight months, I replace my blood with that of a Polynesian boy named Kali.
2. Is it true what the tabloids are saying about your relationship?
   Look, what I do with ex-football player-turned pro wrestler Bill Goldberg in full leather gear in our fully-equipped playroom is nobody's business but mine, his, our blindfolded bukkake slave's, the director's, camera guy's, key grip's, and craft service people's.
3. This new project of yours is certainly taking everyone by surprise. Tell us about it.
   I am so glad you asked? It turns out that my kick-ass sketch troupe, Skeeger, is doing a little show called Boy, New Sketches Are Hard to Write: The Best of Skeeger this week.  All of the greatest moments from our past seven shows are here in one hilarious hour. It's a great opportunity for people who've never seen us to check out what all the fuss is about, as well as for loyal fans to see some of their favorite sketches again! Plus, it's only five measly dollars. (C'mon, people. We're practically paying you.)Also, I've got this blog thingy. It's called So I Like Superman. I say funny things in it.
4. Who are you wearing?
   Admittedly, I'm wearing Old Navy, Gap, and yes, even Target. I know, I know. I'm like the gay antichrist. Or, as he's sometimes known, Christ.
5. Would you ever do a role that required nudity?
   Definitely. But only in a film called The Breathtakingly Beautiful Penis of Michael Francis Hartney II.

You can learn more about Michael at So I Like Superman.

Or see Michael in the flesh!  Boy, New Sketches Are Hard to Write: The Best of Skeeger, runs Wednesday, March 8th through Friday, March 10th at 10pm at the Access Theatre (380 Broadway, fourth floor, two blocks south of Canal).

BLOGWAR: Over

Sometimes things just spin out of control and become bigger and more time consuming than expected.  Thus was the BlogWar/Catfight.  What was intended to be a harf on the assorted "Best" contests which fill the blog-litterbox was funny the first few days, and then tiresome.  Granted, maybe a few new readers were found in the process, so maybe it had some redeeming value.

The winner is the ever-wonderful Michael K of Dlisted.  He is, no doubt, ectastic.

Blogwar, the finale!

Add Shades of Gray, North Dallas Thirty, and fourfour to the list of Made in Brazil, Dlisted, and Towlroad and you have the six final blog cat fighters. Vote now to learn the winner on Monday a.m.

Blogwar, round four and round five ... and round six

Ugh. Busy here, but war means sacrifice, so here goes.

Made In Brazil wins round three.

As this thing seems to be going on forever, now we pile it on, full steam, piling the last few divisions together and gearing up to have our champion cat-clawer by Monday. So let's get this on, Pokemon-style.

Round four is the diaristas.

• Chafostheory
• Vividblurry
• Shades of Gray
• Dan Renzi

I choose YOU!

Round five is the bears.

• North Dallas Thirty
• Joe.My.God.
• Devour
• Proceed at Your Own Risk

I choose YOU!

Round six is the varietals.

• Ultranow
• fourfour
• Pen15 Club
• HomoMojo

I choose YOU!

And next week, pictures of the shark as we jumped over!

BLOGWAR, round three

As the catfight continues, the ground is now covered with tatters of clothing and ripped out extensions. Round two saw Michael K from Dlisted completely trounce his opponents. (no results posting as it is just so thorough, but they can be emailed to you, if you're sick like that.)

Now it's the folks with the flesh (and often quite a bit of good content, too). Who will top the fleshpile? Steph and Alek of OhLaLa Paris? Made In Brazil's webmaster (whose name, shockingly, is unknown)? Bill of Tottlyland? Or Jared, he who is Completely Naked? As for those of you that were expecting links to porn for this round, my apologies. This level has however taken the blogwar worldwide. Will there be anyplace unscathed by the ravages of this war?

The bears next? Maybe the diaristas? The varietals are the wildcards and are definitely last to go. (You thought this was planned out?) Soon we will have our finalists and then, our ultimate catfighting blogger will be revealed. Vote now in the upper left!

BlOgWaR!

Imagine all of your favorite bloggers, painting their claws jungle red and going after each other. With round one complete (results below), it's time to throw the scandalistas into the cage and let the mascara fly. Who will come out on top? Perez, Trent, Michael K, or Jared?

From the first group to throw down, the newsies, the clear winner was Andy Towle, but the other contenders, Rod, Bradford, and Matt were close at the heels (probably trying to see if they were their size).

Next up are the fleshters, all of whom know a bit about, um, body-blows. Then come the diaristas, fleshters, the bears, and the varietals. Soon we will have our finalists and then, our ultimate catfighting blogger will be revealed. Vote now in the upper left!

The Manhattan Offender Interview: Avi, the faceless ultrablogger

Number seventeen in a series.

1. What's your secret to staying so beautiful?
   Bathtub suicide.
2. Is it true what the tabloids are saying about your relationship?
   Monogamous triad with the world's fattest twins is a lie. monogamous triad with the world's fattest cats in the truth.
3. This new project of yours is certainly taking everyone by surprise. Tell us about it.
   I took a very brave, very risky and brave risk by portraying a homosexual cowboy (while simultaneously releasing the massively heterosexual movie casanova) because as we all know no actor has won an Oscar before for portraying a homosexual, especially Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.
4. Who are you wearing?
   I was at the junior prom and had to go to the bathroom and when I looked down there was my baby! So I'm wearing my baby because I don't have scissors to cut the cord because they had a metal detector on the way into the prom so I had to leave my swiss army knife with the little scissors at home.
5. Would you ever do a role that required nudity?
   Just in the casting director's office.

You can learn more about Avi at ultranow (But don't expect to find a picture of him.).

Weekend ketchup

A special shout to MO reader J.A.S.: feel better soon. Here's some stuff to distract you during your recovery this weekend:

• Sell your crap on eBay without all that annoying typing.
• Perhaps the best recent usage of DJ Assault in years.
• I don't think I know many mormons, but I've met this one at several different parties.
• Maybe my sugardaddy lives in London
• You don't find a lot of Brokeback stuff here because others do it justice.
• Instead of giving all of your money to your dealer, maybe some could go to our struggles.
• Drunk pussy.
• Recovering pussy.
• Twisted pussy.