Manhattan Offender

Make Valentine's Day unforgettable

It's Valentine's Day.  When, if you are in a relationship, that you sort of look at the other half a little bit differently.  Over the past year perhaps you two have traveled.  Or confronted personal development issues together.  Maybe you're thinking of taking things to the next logical step.  Is it time to go to City Hall?  Is it time ... to terminate your domestic partnership?

Dissolution of a domestic partnership is surprisingly easy.  Since it is sort of a governmental joke that is made to keep the mo's quiet, there is none of the complication that one would have ending a real marriage.

From the office of the New York City Marriage Bureau:

A domestic partnership can be terminated by either party to the registered domestic partnership by filling a termination statement in person with our offices. The person filing the termination statement must declare that the domestic partnership is terminated and, if the termination statement has not been signed by both parties, that the other party has been notified of such termination by registered mail, return receipt requested. The fee for domestic partnership termination is $27.00 payable solely by certified check, postal or money order and a valid form of identification as described above must be presented at the time the termination statement is filed. Termination can also be automatic: whenever one of the parties to a domestic partnership marries the domestic partnership automatically terminates.

From the above the most awesome bit is that not only is dissolution of of your partnership easy, you don't even need to tell the other half that you are doing it.  It is more difficult for an Indonesian Muslim polygamist to discard of one his wives than it is for you to end your silly little relationship.  (He would at least have to face the soon-to-be-ex and say, "I divorce you" three times.)

The final fun fact is that you can always end your trivial little partnership by actually marrying someone of the opposite sex, because that gay thing was just a phase anyway.

So this Valentine's Day, end your relationship.  Or at least the government's recognition thereof.  Sorry, their sort-of recognition.  And then go to the conveniently located Century 21 for your new divorcee wardrobe.  (It's winter clearance and men's bottoms are half off!)

50 Church Street

So the latest design for the Freedom Tower was revealed today.  Frankly, I'm more excited about the Century 21 expansion as I doubt I'll ever have a reason to step inside the Freedom Phallus unless there's a really hot store inside.

While some people are all into the details of the design, I frankly couldn't care less as the design takes a backseat to that hideous name:  The Freedom Tower.  It harkens back to the days of "Freedom Fries" and reasonates of the whole "They hate us because we're free" fallacy.  I think there are too many  economic, political, and religious aspects to be wrapped up to fit into that sound-bite burrito.

And while it is easy to naysay probably any name generated from the committees involved, might I suggest one:  50 Church Street.