Manhattan Offender

Straight guys on Katie Couric

Gathered to do a focus group on beer that would pay $100 for an hour of time, we sat in a room together.  The focus group had been overbooked, and we six would be paid the full amount without sitting through the discussion or even staying for an hour.  Cheered by our 'easy money' conversation began in the room.  After a brief discussion of the death of the Crocodile Hunter (of which I held no opinion), I was able to turn the topic to something that made me curious:  how non-gay men were reacting to Katie Couric:

Me:  Did Katie Couric start doing the news tonight?
Guy 1:  Yeah, I think so.  I'll never be watching that.
Guy 2:  Me either.  She's way too full of herself.
Guy 3:  I look at her and think she's running all over the place and probably firing people if they look at her funny.
Guy 2:  Yeah, I heard she fired a lot of people at the Today show and they all hated her.
Guy 3:  I don't trust her if there's some kind of crisis.  The news has to be about the news, not about her.
Guy 4:  She's just a bitch.  America's Sweetheart, my ass.
Me:  What about Meredith Viera on the Today show?
Guy 2:  I might start watching that now that Katie's gone.
Guy 1:  Meredith Viera was, like, a hard news reporter, right?  Left for a few years to raise her kids?
Guy 3:  Yeah, I remember her from back then.  She's gonna be good.

At this point I relate my own experience as a contestant on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

Guy 2:  So she's a nice lady.  She's smart.  She's funny.  And not that bitch.  I'll check that out.
Guy 1:  Yeah, and who the hell watches the evening news anyway.  Katie fucked herself over.
Guy 2:  I just refresh the cnn.com screen every so often.  By the time the evening news is on, it's all old.
Guy 3:  Katie's stupid.

No Today today, but maybe Today some day

Today is just a memory around here, with the smooth stylings of Soledad O'Brien being preferred.  Our distaste for Katie Couric grew over the years.  Her colonoscopy was hard on the eyes, but nowhere nearly as bad as her constant confusion of pedophilia with homosexuality.  Meredith Viera could bring us back.

In the interest of full disclosure, I've sat with Meredith Viera for a televsion show which will remain nameless (unless she gets the Today gig in which case a clip will be posted).  In the off-camera moments she was remarkably charming and intelligent.  Her background is in hard journalism and she'd probably be thrilled to exit the schmaltzy programming with which she is currently involved.

Granted, they'll need to get rid of Matt Lauer and Al Roker as well.  It shouldn't be difficult as one is a hello, i'd need a lawyer and a lot of extra time if I were to give up the dirt I have on these two.

(Photo stolen from San Francisco's Kinsey Sicks.)

Breakfast burrito

• Quote of the day:  "Snap!  You've just been transported to Junior Vasquez-era Twilo!"
• Are your tax dollars helping to jail gays in Afghanistan?
• Wake him up before you go-go.  Actually our props to George Michael for not playing some victim-y "I have a problem" card.  His actual quote?  "It's my own stupid fault."
• If you are gay and retired do you really want to spend all of your free time writting M-A-S-S-A=C=H-U-S-E-T-T-S?
• Morning Math:  Katie Couric + Kimora Lee Simmons = Monstrosity