Manhattan Offender

Because there must be a blog for everything ...

My eyes rolled for "Look at This Fucking Hipster".  There was a brief interest in "This is Why You Are Fat".  Now, there is a site that can keep my interest:  "Dads in Short Shorts". 

Side note:  Can I just give some props to the old-schoolishness of using Blogspot instead of the Tumblr circle-jerk?

Links - Two friends of mine are driving across the country, doing crystal meth and having sex along the way.

What? 
Peter and Paul?
Not Party and Play?
Oh.
Well that's good to hear.
So, yes, they're driving across the country and taking lots of pictures, not that other thing.

PNP LA -> NY.

Links - Apparently lesbians do not cuddle.

In a world where everything needs an explanation, we have this wikiHow, written for straight women, straight men, and gay men.  And bisexual men.  And tranny-loving men.  But not for lesbians, who will be denied the secrets of cuddling forever.

How to Cuddle

Choire Sicha and Alex Balk have taken the "F.U." out of "The Awful" and made a new site, "The Awl".

The Awl: Now 100% more live. | The Awl.

Proof at last that there is a heaven and there are unicorns and rainbows smell like fresh baby. In other words, yes, Virginica, there is a bacon-infused vodka.

So we're at a party as Cator Sparks', and it's sort of full of all these gay-looking men and their either British or Asian girlfriends.  Two gays with the same initials (DH) are with me and another gay named Mike.  We're near a sofa discussing a range of topics with a somewhat logical narrative.  Paula Dean leads to butter leads to bacon leads to the saving of bacon grease and what should be done with it.

My contribution is adding a teaspoon of grease to Brussels sprouts along with pulverized pecans .  DH1 suggests using it instead of butter in corn bread.  Then DH2 jokingly suggests combining it with liquor.  We all joke for a minute of bacon grease shooters and other inspired concoctions.  The topic moves on to "how women often push you out of the way with their tits" and so on.

Ten minutes later Cator breezes by and for some reason begins to talk about bacon-infused vodka.  As he continues we are dumbfounded at first by his bringing forth our previous topic and next by the fact that it is incredibly easy to make.

Three strips of bacon are prepared as one does.  The three strips are then added to a standard 750ml bottle of vodka.  (Being a former Absolut Spirits Company employee and sort of versed on flavor characteristics of vodkas, I'd recommend using Ketel One or maybe Absolut Peppar.)  Put the bottle away in a cabinet for three weeks.  Remove the bottle and strain through cheesecloth (or nylons).  The remaining substance is apparently amazing.

In three weeks, this will be either confirmed or lamented.

Homemade Bacon Vodka.  (Pic via same.)

Party story/pics, including stripper.

So, like, when I'm 46, I totally will make sure to treat my child-bride/sperm-vessel to such a very special week of her own on her thirtieth birthday, provided that she is still producing eggs, because she is so out the door by forty. Thanks, Tom Cruise

Tom & Katie Celebrate Her 30th Birthday All Week: People.com.

If you've been looking all over for that perfect holiday gift, worry not, Christonaut, you don't have to make your own Naked Clown Calendar because you can just buy one, on the Internets.

Wonkette : Wonkette’s 2008 War On Xmas Gift Guide.

California finally has a proposition in the works that will protect its citizens from the sinister

Oh, but as a kid did I love that the word "sinister" found its derivation from the Latin "left".  My mother, a leftie, couldn't understand my fascination with her otherness to me.  (Especially since, as a child my left hand was the favored, possible because at birth my right clavicle was shattered and my right shoulder separated.  Granted, I was dead at the time, so I totally don't remember it.  Anyway, Grandma Lucile insisted that I be forced to work with my right hand, "to make life easier down the road".)

Even my childhood hero Green Lantern knew that lefties were evil.  His arch-nemesis was Sinestro, who wore his power ring on, you guessed it, his left hand! 

So it's fantastic to know that Californians have recognized the horror that is left-handedness and started a coalition to put those freaks back in the right, so to speak.

Protect Traditional Handedness.
(via Andy, who was cast as King Arthur in our high school's musical over me, which caused me to throw a fit not just because he was a freaking sophomore and I was a senior, but then they offered me the Director slot which was even more awesome in my opinion because I was really in it for filling up my college application with "diverse experiences", but then, when they couldn't find the right fit for Merlin, forced me into that role which totally upset me because I had just played The Wizard in Once Upon a Mattress and, you know, you don't want to be typecast forever as a mage, but the real problem for me was that I was horrible at monologues and Merlin has a freaking huge one in Camelot and that had me freaking out even more because of my bad memory and, oh, yeah, I for whatever reason pronounced the word "sword" with a enunciated "w")

"The next item up for bid is a jar of fingernails as chewed and saved by one Miss Nancy Spungeon."

PUNK/ROCK | Fine Art Auction | Search Results | Christie's.
(via The Village Voice)

The suicides we can deal with, but the lack of iPhones will make this not the New Great Depression, but the Most Depressing Depression.

Since my holiday vacation plans were just blown away by friends fearing lay-offs (Provincetown remains elusive!), the reality of the downturn is in-mind.  The Boston Globe has a nice "think" piece outlining what the new economic reality may bring. 

Lines at the ER, a television boom, emptying suburbs. A catastrophic economic downturn would feel nothing like the last one.

(via Neal (on whom I totally crush because of the points of view taken in his writing, but am unsure of his gayness.  And it's not like he lives on the same continent anyway.))