Okay, fine, I read Metro. It's free, compact and the guy handing them out at my subway station looks like a pissed-on puppy dog if I don't accept his hand-out. Plus the Times is available online.
Today Metro introduced a "new" weekend section, essentially repackaging their usual fare, adding movie listings and some other bland fare. A page by page breakdown:
First page - Hype mostly, telling you what is inside: a Missy Elliot interview, movie reviews of Dark Water and Fantastic Four, New York City's best burger and an introduction to the 'new' section by section editor Catherine New. New's introduction essentially tells you that there is a Missy Elliot interview, movie reviews and restaurant picks inside. Oh, and some gossip. There is one glaring typo (to me anyway); New tells of an interview with Jessica Alba inside with what Alba was in common with Sue Stone of the Fantastic Four. Um, even someone that is only 30% geek can tell you it's Sue Storm, as mentioned on the very next page of your section. Editor, edit thyself.
Second and third pages - "Films" A bunch of movie reviews. Some for movies that have just come out. Others for movies that have been out for weeks now. Surely you can't be planning to rehash every week.
Fourth and fifth pages - "Music + Arts" Well, mostly music, with a Missy Elliott interview where you can learn that Missy has quit smoking pot. Uh, huh. One column of live music this weekend, such as Def Leppard. Some album reviews with even more rehashing: the White Stripes new album came out more than a month ago. An interview with Jamel Shabazz, a profile of some band with a long name and another column with gallery listings. Oh, and something that looked like an ad, but is a "photo feature" asking some dull girl what dull music she is listening to and why.
Sixth and seventh pages - "People" One page of the regular gossip section and one page with interviews of Jessica Alba and Jennifer Connely, both of whom have new movies out (so maybe this belongs in the Movies section?).
Eighth and ninth pages - "Going Out" Which is a food section. Hmm. Why not call it Eating Out, or, if that's too cunnigular for you, maybe Dining Out? Oh, and that best burger in New York? It was selected by GQ magazine, those arbiters of fine dining. And it's at the Burger Joint in Le Parker Meridien. So the news of 2001.
Tenth and eleventh pages (will it ever end) - "Listings" Which is movie listings. So in reality there are five pages of movies, just under half of the pages of the Weekend spectacular. I'm sorry, but if the majority of our options for the weekend are going to see the movies, we might as well be living in Dubuque.
And that's it. Finally. In the introduction Catherine New writes: "Put this newspaper in your bag - you're going to need it!" And on a rainy day like today, she's right. It makes a good umbrella.
The subtle charmers handing out the morning freebies Metro and AM New York probably all have second jobs. As any writer/waiter will tell you having two jobs means double the hassle with "the man". Double the commute. Double all the perfunctory prattle that goes along with being "employed". 
