Manhattan Offender

WYSIWYG Talent Show

Thanks to those that came out to see the show.  It was nice to meet both old and new faces!  For you that missed it, here's my portion of last night's WYSIWYG Talent Show.

WYSIWYG

Reminding!
WYSIWYG!
Wednesday!
7 PM!
Be there!
I have something very special planned.

Last bit on WYSIWYG

A few random, final notes regarding WYSIWYG:

• There are now some pictures up on flickr including the one above which isn't the best or worst shot I've ever taken.  I am rather surprised that they only used a shot of me before the striptease.  (And I'm gripping that mic like it's the last genital on the planet.)
• Some reviews have come in from an assortment of places:
  • Jon W. Collins
  • The Publishing Spot
  • From the Ashes ...
  • Someone in a Tree
  • and Worth Repeating on the AOL Gay/Lesbian channel provided some kind commentary before the show!
• And I've noticed that I never gave much mention to my fellow performers.  They were all very impressive and each had a moment to make my "butch bitch" laugh.  So a last bit of props to:
  • Curly
  • Spinster
  • Joel Derfner
  • dj:ayden
  • Joe
  • Greg
• We now take you back to your regularly scheduled retardation.  If more better/nakeder pictures surface I'll throw them in to the post jump spot.

Virtual WYSIWYG

Below is the transcript of my presentation at tonight's WYSIWYG, based on a post written June 20, 2005.

Hi, my name is Rod Townsend and I have a little site called Manhattan Offender dot com.  The piece I’m reading tonight is from a piece that I wrote on June 20, of 2005.  When I originally wrote this I thought that it could actually make a nice little performance art striptease type of piece.  I’ve since decided that the words are strong enough to leave my clothes on, but if audience reaction isn’t strong enough I’m totally dropping trou.

Sinners on parade

I don’t think I need to tell anyone in this crowd that Gay Pride is back in the city this week, meaning that sin
will be on parade down Fifth Avenue.

Not just general sin, but very specifically the sin of Pride.

Which is totally unfair.

Maybe I should explain.

In my bathroom at home I have a shower curtain designed by Jonathan Adler.
as well as a color-coordinated trashcan by Jonathan Adler,
and a color-coordinated soap dish by Jonathan Adler,
and a color coordinated cup by Jonathan Adler,
and color coordinated towels by Jonathan Adler
and some slightly off bathmats from Ikea. 

But back to the shower curtain.

It’s from Adler’s "Seven Deadly Sins" bathroom collection and it lists in bright semi-retro very-fag colors all of the seven sins, in both serif and sans-serif fonts.

But as I was staring at the shower curtain, it occurred to me how unfair it is that Pride gets a gay parade, but the other sins?  Woefully neglected.

In the name of equality, couldn't all of the sins get their very own gay parade?

After all there are seven sins and seven days of the week and damn but we homos loooooove synergy!

MONDAY!
Gay Pride –
Let’s not rock the boat too much to start.
Go with what we know.
We start the week with our traditional,
"I'm okay, you're okay …
what's her problem."

TUESDAY!
Gay Envy –
We line the parade route with regular working class ‘mo’s.
Down Fifth Avenue our big gay icons like David Geffen, Barry Diller, Rupert Everett and, oh, I don’t know … Tom Cruise
parade by us flaunting their wealth, fashions a good looks while we on the sidelines try to figure out if what Geffen's wearing is available at Century 21.

WEDNESDAY!
Gay Covetousness –
For this parade we really don’t need to go all the way down Fifth. We can probably take care of everything we need between 50th and 60th streets.  For Covetousness, the snotty shopboys will come streaming out of Saks, Gucci, Fendi, and beloved Bergdorf flaunting their wares in taunting choreographed consumerist cha-cha lines.

Envy and Covetousness are going to leave us really riled up, so our next parade of sin will be perfectly timed.

THURSDAY!
Gay Anger –
Let’s face it.
The G’s, the L’s the B’s and the T’s?
We’re some of the best protesters out there.
Bring out the signs, the banners, the buttons and the tee’s.
and, oh yeah, the whistles. Must have whistles!

And once you have your anger worked up the next one is a natural.

FRIDAY!
Gay Lust –
Just cover Fifth Avenue with black plastic, lube it up and let the fun begin. Parade Sponsors include Wet, Eros, and a personal favorite … Magnum!

Too be honest, it’s shocking-slash-wonderful how the sins just flow one into the other. 

SATURDAY!
Gay Gluttony –
Power-bottom, crystal pig-sluts Unite!
This parade is a perfect time for a masquerade parade with every participant wearing a mask.
Why the masks?  Because we gays like our gluttony to be on the Anonymous tip.
i.e.  Cocaine Anonymous, Sexual Cumpulsives Anonymous, Alcoholics Anonymous  … cheers by the way.

Six sins down and one to go.  Any big sinners out there know what the last one is?  This is that lack of reaction I mentioned.  (Remove clothes.)

SUNDAY!
Gay Sloth –
Parading around for a whole week makes you just want to order brunch in, where old worn out clothes, and, finally, most importantly
Finally you get to breathe and let your gut go natural!  (sucked in gut becomes pushed out gut)

WYSIWYG

It's tonight.

For those that have asked me what I'm performing, I'll give one clue:  It is an interpretation of a post written June 20. 

They're all going to laugh at me, theoretically

Being a professional slightly afflicted with stage fright a hyper-analytical control freak, instead of just doing a dry run of my bit for WYSIWYG I first performed it at an open mic at a lesbian bar with the thought being that if the material could make the ladies laugh between poon poems that it could do even better at WYSIWYG.  Happily success can be reported.  Although there were no reports of peed in pants, there was much general guffawing and mental notes were easily made as to what to stretch and what to cut (which sounds vaguely like a circumcision) and the strip-tease portion turn out to be unnecessary!

The proof though is in the pudding (along with the horse hooves), so, if interested, come! Even if my portion is a flog you have the talents of Curly McDimple, Joel Derfner , Greg Walloch and Spinster

WYSIWYG Talent Show
Way Gay, Even Gayer Gay Gayness
Tuesday, June 20, 8:00 p.m.
Bowery Poetry Club
308 Bowery (at Bleecker)
Tickets: $7

Doors open at 7:30 and the show typically sells out so early birds get the tequila worms.

What you smell is what you get

Coming your way on June 20 at the Bowery Poetry Club is the WYSIWYG Talent Show:  Way Gay:  Even Gayer Gay Gayness.  WYSIWYG is a monthly performance set featuring writers bloggers for the most part reading, or "interpreting" their posts.  As the topic is one on which so little is known they have chosen Rod Townsend (aka Manhattan Offender) to perform.

Which post to do since most posts here are way gay?  (Actually most are way, way gay.)  You'll have to attend to find the answer, but guesses are welcome (and guesses that it's my "Bio" are wrong, although appreciated.)  One guarantee is that it will be more than just a guy reading from behind a pedestal, but, as they have not responded to my questions regarding nudity, details cannot be released at this time.

The Manhattan Offender Interview: Greg, the performance artist

Number twenty-five in a series.

 

Interview after the jump.

Save the date

Tuesday, June 20th

I'll be announcing details next Wednesday.  (I'm totally geeked.)

Tragedy, As Seen on Television

Unlike the reporter that wrote the story for the Daily News, I'll reserve judgement regarding the case of performance artist Kerry Skarbakka, who emulated people jumping to their deaths as did many on September 11, 2001. 

The one line that did get me in the story:  "It was such a tragic event for me," he said. "I was in Chicago and I watched it all on television."  It makes me wonder what his thoughts were when Katie Couric had her colonoscopy done live and on the air.  Did he 'feel' that one, too? 

Don't get me wrong, I watch television, too.  It was such a tragic event for me when Bo Bice was beaten by Carrie Underwood on American Idol ...