Manhattan Offender

Friday penis - Here is your Jaime Foxx, naked

Have a wonderful weekend staring at Jaime's impressive penis.

(via Gawker)

Choire Sicha and Alex Balk have me feeling like Serena did when Poppy came back into town, what with her new haircut and fab new boyfriend and there was Serena, just throwing a little party for fucking Jenny Humphrey for Christ's sake.

More will be explained tomorrow.

The magazine rack of my barber shop exceeds the magazine rack at your barber shop.

Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna, Dunna Dunna Dunna Dunna, Bat-@#$%

DC Comics almost released a comic book with some very dirty words.  Had the words "cunt" and "fuck" made the newsstand, the controversy would have been massive.

Link: Comic Book Resources > Lying In The Gutters - 9-9-2008.

All the sad, young masturbatory men

While in the midst of the morning "clearing of excess bodily fluids", I came across an expression of melancholy.  For someone to go through the effort to bake and ice a small cake, put a candle on it, jerk off on to it, and then eat it is one thing.  It is devastating, however, for our subject to then face the camera with a wistful smile and proclaim, "Happy birthday to me."

Obviously not safe for work:  "It's My Party!"

Rich Wrangler

Do you enjoy train wrecks?  Then you'll love Rich Wrangler.  This is 100% NOT SAFE FOR WORK, even if you work at a porn production palace.  As a brief synopsis:   [descriptive adjective redacted per Wrangler's request] 40-something rides in his jeep wearing naught but short-shorts, impales himself on the jeep's stick shift, and ... just watch.  (And don't forget to note the use of establishing, middle and close-up shots.  This is community college cinematography class sexcellence.