Manhattan Offender

Well, Paris Hilton is in town for the FiFi awards. Um. Whatever.

Zac Efron is nostalgic for his youth? Hey, Zac? Fuck you.

Also? Your name converts to "Sac" on spell check.

(from the corner of 23rd and Park)

Is it because I'm a complete adolescent (at least in my pants anyway) that when I see the Haldron Super-Collider, that I just want to bang it?

(And please, no "black hole" jokes.)

Picture via: Muppet Pants

So here comes that story again where the 'friends', back in Brooklyn, who briefly spoke of them with smirks and grins and (two days later) pretty much forgot them until that one friend, the one that 'writes', decided to rehash that tired old story.

You know the one.  Where the people who left the city are seen as sort of anti-heroes?  And the photography (showing "quirky architectural features" or, even better, "relaxing in the yard") when blown up betrays the faces of the illustrious subjects revealing a melancholy tucked behind laugh-lines that fucking breaks your heart?  Because you understand what they have done and why they have done it and deep inside for a femtosecond you too could be convinced to be the same?

Then you stop reading the article and toss the New York magazine in your bag, because you've read this story, like, every month for every year since you moved here sixteen years ago.  And you're just not fucking going anywhere.  Especially not fucking Buffalo.

Link: What Could Make Someone Want to Leave New York and Move to Buffalo? -- New York Magazine.

Via

I think it means that I'm a writer. Or really getting close to the deep end.

I've just updated my Manhunt profile and totally want to share it with you.  I'm not sure of my motivation for doing so actually.  My instinct tells me that it's really good because it is really honest.  And my favorite writing?  Has rhythm and motion and feeling.  Which I think I captured here.  And I'm promising myself to tap into this cadence way more often.  Becausen it be awesome!

With that being said, here is my ManHunt profile:

            If!

If you are somebody that has a cock pic, but keeps it in inactive status, because otherwise it would be in private status?  And you don't want a pic showing in private status, because just in case there's somebody on this site that you're actually aka really aka genuinely interested in?  You don't want them to think you're, you know, sexual.  But actually you are sexual?  And you do have a cock pic and occasionally when you're horny you move it to private.  And!  And if you are always busted by the one you actually wanted?

If! 
If you are that neurotic and wacky and socially akward as me then I totally want to hang out with you! 

2008: It starts with a two and ends with an eight: Part One - The Resolutions

1. Take more pictures.
2. Less social networking; more socializing.  Deleted so far areaccounts at BearWWW and Big Muscle Bears.  Because, really, I'm not  much of a bear.  And Friendster, as it's, well, lame.
3. Write less, but more.  Memoir is now the focus.
4. Have a different Fire Island experience.  It's so very ghaytto.   This summer will be far on the east end of the Pines, a bit more  isolated, a bit more potential.
5. Take a class.  About something, not about how to do something.
6. Post on the blog via phone, while commuting.  As I am now.

2007: It was a year that started with a two and ended with a seven: Part Four, resolution review

Following are my resolutions, as published last year, and their current status.

1. Finish and have published either a long-form or a short-form fiction piece.  STATUS:  Done.  Wait.  Undone.  Everything published was nonfiction.  Fuck.
2. Become fully fluent in either Spanish or Portuguese.  STATUS:  Full fluency?  Are you kidding me?  Improvement made, but status remains undone.
3. Travel internationally.  STATUS:  Undone.  I'm really on Fire Island way too much.
4. Go to Provincetown.  STATUS:  Undone.  For no reason.  Almost went for New Years. 
5. Go to Montreal.  STATUS:  Undone.
6. Quit smoking.  STATUS:  Done.
7. Be more human.  Admit personal flaws. STATUS:  Done.
8. Learn CSS.  STATUS:  Undone.  And no longer a priority.
9. Ask for help more often.  STATUS:  Done.  But I still don't read directions or look at maps.
10. Drink a V-8 every day or eat more vegetables and fruit.  Take vitamin, fish oil pill, and aspirin everyday (just like last year).  STATUS:  Done.  Except the last few weeks.
11. Kiss more strangers, if possible.  STATUS:  Done and done and done.
12. Do not pull out the cock at the Dugout unless asked.  Same for the Eagle.  And Big Lug.  And Nowhere Bar.  And Phoenix.  And Eastern Bloc.  And Metropolitan.  STATUS:  Done.  I think.

2007: It was a year that started with a two and ended with a seven: Part Three, the friends

Without them, I would fall apart.  They are the reminder to me that I'm not a bad person, not mentally unstable, not a problem.  And they like to send text messages.

This past year, like many gays, I bought an iPhone.  Unless cleared out, the messages remain in the phone forever.  In fact, I have messages from the first day of ownership.  Below are some of the messaging exchanges from the last six months:

EB:  Hi.
MO:  It lives!
EB:  It's dead inside however.
MO:  Moisturize.
EB:  It did.

MO:  Does it work late?
EB:  No, off to Splash.
MO:  Splash?!?!?!
EB:  Not really.

MO:  Detox was swellegant.
MO:  I keep typing retox and silly phone keeps changing it.
DH:  Phone is run by mormons.
MO:  But isn't the apple a sign of temptation or devil or ???
DH:  Sin!

MO:  Time change bullshit.  Fuck the farm kids!
DH:  I'd gladly fuck the farmers.

MO:  Ugh ... Couldn't wake up last night.  Sorry for flaking.
DP:  No worries.  You only missed the most awesome night ever.  That's all.
MO:  I'm allergic to awesome.  It makes my pancreas fidget.
DP:  That's your hepatitis.

MO:  Let's utilize as many media as possible to communicate.
DP:  Without actually talking to eachother in real time.  Good idea.  Nonconfrontational.
MO:  It's the white thing to do.
DP:  I love it when you make christmas a race issue.
MO:  No one ever dreams of a yellow brown or black christmas.
DP:  I had a yellow christmas once because of my hepatitis.

MO:  Bring me some snacks.  I'm stoned and it's cold outside.
DH:  Am baking cookies, but fucked my knee up hard so not going anywhere.  Sorry.
MO:  Ah, Booger!  I'm so sorry.
DH:  Hope you are well.  Do you watch Dirty Sexy Money?
MO:  Nay.  The gayest thing just happened.  My new teapot just whistled for the first time!
DH:  Obama drinks tea in public.
MO:  Does he keep his pinkie finger aloft?
DH:  He really might as well.
MO:  I teabag in public.
DH:  I cobag in public.
MO:  I pay per bag.
DH:  My bag is half full.
MO:  My cat is in the bag.  Please do not let her out.
DH:  Tyra to Alicia Keyes, rapping:  "I thought we were a family, me, you and kimora lee."

2007: It was a year that started with a two and ended with a seven: Part Two, The Rod

The following lists may help me understand myself if I fall victim to amnesia.

Names of people with whom I went on proper dates/made out/met up in the past year in alphabetical order as found on my phone:  Alex, Alex, Alex, Angel, Antonio, Damon, Eric, Gary, James, Joe, John, Jon, Luis, Malcolm, Mike, Punit, Raul, Regis, Robbert, Robert, Ronaldo, Ruben, Scott, Stephen, Steve, Xavier, Zamir

Diseases for which I was tested in the past year:  AIDS, Syphilis, Anemia, MRSA, Lupus, Lung cancer, Gall bladder dysfunction, Spleen ailment, Kidney problem

Diseases which I had:  Staph infection.  It changed my life.

Pets:  Sybil.  She's recently learned to wear a harness.  Next step is a leash.  Yes, I want a cat that I can walk.

2007: It was a year that started with a two and ended with a seven: Part One, the blogging

Many a blog shut down over the past year.  Others changed content ever so slightly.  Granted many more opened up shop, and those that didn't blog updated their Facebook pages on an hourly basis.  Then there were those of us that kept chugging along.

The past year saw this site try on a few different outfits.  There were the restaurant reviews.  The flesh peddling didn't take off the way it should have.  And neither did the gossip.  I had almost forgotten the surrealtrocity of Wonder Woman Wednesdays.  Or the fun had with The Pussycat Dolls.

Many enjoyed a path to self-discovery.  My big discovery was that writing movie reviews will get you invited to mostly bad, publicist-heavy movies.

For whatever reason The MO Interview slipped into obscurity.  That was a mistake and it needs to be brought back.  As does "That Notebook on my Coffeetable".  Basically what happened was the summer was taken off.  Then I came back at blogging with some new ideas that I wanted to try.  Gossip Gaffes, Add Vice, The Week in Cock, The Kitchen; all concepts that will continue. 

Any review of the year would be remiss without mention of the Gawker work.  Or of LOLGay. 

Essentially, the blog has suffered, first from identity crisis, then from lack of time from its owner.  For those of you that continue to read, I thank you.