Although the recent public discussion of immigration has lessened on the airways, the battle rages on in other places.
The Scene: The N Train, going uptown after work.
The Players: Turquoise and Seafoam are a hipster couple. Red is a dark-haired fellow. Purple - that's MO. And Anglophile is a white woman in her late fifties.
ACTION: Getting on at Twenty-third Street, MO is tired and wants to sit and read assorted things that he printed out during the day. There is space available, but it requires Red to move about two inches to accomodate MO's manly frame. MO smiles and Red moves. MO thanks Red.
At Thirty-fourth Street, some passengers exit while Turquoise and Seafoam get on the train. As the train exits and proceeds uptown the ride is jerky. Those without an adequate gluteal base (aka a big butt) are move somewhat with the sway of the train. Turquoise and Seafoam move quite a bit. Red moves not at all. MO was brought up on the water and reacts well. Anglophile has ample gluteal support.
As the train progresses between Forty-ninth and Fifty-seventh Streets Red is angered by the swaying of Turquoise and Seafoam and lets out a loud, "Stop Pushing!" The three proceed to have a loud discussion regarding whether they are moving or pushing. The discussion continues until Fifty-ninth Street where Red exits the train, most probably headed to the Upper East Side - the angry commuter headquarters.
(Strangely all of the above is just set-up.)
ANGLOPHILE: (looks up from her book) Mumbles.
MO: (assumes she is talking about Red) Yeah, he had space issues. He should relax.
ANGLOPHILE: He should go back to his country, the dirty immigrant.
MO: (removes sunglasses to purvey shock) What?
ANGLOPHILE: Should never let his kind into the country. Probably a Mexican.
MO: (points to ring) Really? I married a dirty Mexican. You realize that everyone in this country is an immigrant, right?
ANGLOPHILE: I'm not.
MO: Doll, you're twenty shades too too white to be pure native american.
ANGLOPHILE: I'm British.
MO: (laughs loudly) You're also bonkers, doll.
Silence as the train pulls into Queensboro Plaza. ANGLOPHILE packs away her book (the very British Jack the Ripper) begins to exit.
MO: And you're tranferring to the 7? The Immigrant Express? (howls with laughter)
(Author's notice of disclosure: MO is 3/16 British.)